So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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