No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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