barbara walters just said penis...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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