what day is it and did you see me today?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
