I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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