when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
