we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
