Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
