Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Houston, we have a squirter
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
