The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
