Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
