are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
