i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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