i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
