Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
