eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
