I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
