My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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