Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
