god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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