Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
