Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
