two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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