Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize