The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
