So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
