You made me cry and you don't even care
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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