There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
