Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
