Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
accomplished twins. life is a go
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
