yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
