I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The convent might be a nice break from real life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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