I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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