She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
