You really coming over, don't trick.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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