If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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