no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
