Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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