Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
