carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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