is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
