I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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