i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
