So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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