that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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