Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize