Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm like, not good at living.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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