nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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