Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
