I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize