oh god the rape fog is back!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
only you would photoshop your dick
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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