you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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