he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
