i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she was so not down for the gang bang
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
