nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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