dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
