The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize