I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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