ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
