He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
