We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
