Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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