I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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