All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize