Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
